I’ve been doing heavy internal rebuilding. Working on myself, taking those hard looks in the mirror that makes you want to look away seconds later. You know what that feels like right? I would imagine everyone has experienced it at some point or another.
Thank God I took that time to work on myself. I love my ability to listen actively and take in everything around me, especially golden nuggets that aren’t useful in the moment but will soon prove to be extremely appropriate months or in this case, years, down the road. During my sophomore year, I had a few counseling sessions with a gifted professional who looked like me. One golden nugget she offered me, was to build positive habits when things were good so that when things got rocky you are able to lean your habits, instead of being caught without positive coping mechanisms. After she told me that, I went to the drawing board to find new things that helped me deal with my issues, and also find things I had at the time that lifted my spirits. That’s when Treat Yo Self: All Year Round Jermaine began to find his footing.
At that point in my life, I was constantly giving to others and had little to no time to recover and retrieve the pieces of myself that were donated to others. After I took account of what was going on, I took steps to regain power over my life. Then, my dear friend Imani gifted me with my beloved red journal. God knew exactly what I needed at that moment to begin this new journey to a personal connection. The next semester, one year after acquiring the golden nugget, I began carving out time in my schedule to attend yoga at least once weekly. After that, I cut off things that I found unhealthy for my mental wellbeing. And still today, I am continuously working to cultivate positive spaces in which to inhabit. To those who are working on themselves in any way, it’s not an overnight change. It takes time because the work is never done. As we are, and will always be imperfect beings, and that’s alright. God doesn’t make mistakes, and surely, they didn’t start with you.
Originally Published: May 1st, 2020
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